A cultural deterrent- The Gutfeld effect

A deterrent to prison: Things you won’t getto (ok, “get to” the imagery of the ghetto, well, you decide- not really a simile or metaphor but I am typing with old eyes 10 ft away from a screen I can’t read LOL )enjoy there so why go?

I have not ever been to prison and so I enjoy these things and opportunities….you should as well, we all should. I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t – as if spending time in prison would be a right of passage or any reason. Clean your hood up and I will continue to do the same but avoiding the threat of bars..
If you do decide that this is your preferred vocation then let me tell you what you are gonna miss:
A simple credo that we could all follow
Things I might miss if I were incarcerated:

Bad Ass

Enjoy your kids- many of the following things are directly connected to your kids
Love a partner (ok, this is possible but the options probably are very limited- in prison)
Treat your lady as if she and anyone else should, like a goddess, otherwise you are not able to take care of her and someone else would do a better job than you obviously.
Sex with the partner of your dreams
Spending time with your family
Treat your neighbor like they should treat you- you don’t want to be treated differently do you? Clean up your trash and expect them to do as well.
Expect the same from how you expect to be treated from anyone. Not- treat people as you want to be treated, expect another to treat you like you treat them. Try this sometime, it is magical.
Teach these virtues to your offspring. No exceptions.
Teach your daughter to be a lady and a son to be a man.
You are going to make mistakes- accept it- then LEARN FROM THEM. Otherwise you will be an anal retentive dip shit that spews advice that nobody wants. The best advise is kept to yourself and you learn from it, god willing.
Hence the hypocrisy – we can believe in god or can be agnostic, such as I but it doesn’t really matter unless we follow some belief be it religion or some set of moral standards.
Expect the people around you to expect the same values, morals and norms as you do, if they do not, delete them from your life but understand that they are different and respect thier values even if you do not follow them.
Your health is the only health that you can control, -once you have the under control, do not try to control anyone else’s. you can’t. Realize that, only they can care enough about it.
Stick to your values , morals and norms that you were taught and believe.
Don’t take no for an answer – keep trying.
Love people but don’t be afraid of what they think. Only you can control what you do- don’t let anyone else stop you.
Sushi = try the culinary arts from around the world- you will be surprised of what you have been missing – cook your ass off and fuck it up – you are the only one who can control what you ingest
Make your bed in the morning, it will be the first goal that you accomplish everyday.
See the world – travel
Live in a cool place
Have a smile when you wake up
Take your parents to dinner
Provide an opportunity that you missed or were unable to attain to another
Have a pet
Spend time with interesting people- your friends
Learn new things
Do not dwell on the past
Do not avoid change- learn new things, try new things
Search your genealogy
Do not fight – the definition of violence tis forcing another do what you want but if you must, make sure they (your opponent) never even think about ever trying to enforce their will upon you EVER again. Picking up teeth with a broken arm will stop them.
Pull your pants up, I don’t wanna see your ass, do you wanna see mine?
Don’t go to prison- looting is a short term goal to a long term failure.
We all die, and we all die the same. The only difference is with respect or with shame.